I really love this and it is so true. We romantisce situationships butter flies yet that feeling will go away one dat that is beginning of really loving someone. Love this hannah thanks for writing this
I apologise but I might go on a rant here. Because with such a great articulated piece of work, I find myself not aligning with the idea itself. So please bear with me for a few paras:
I get what you’re trying to say.
It’s well-worded, sentimental, romantic in the old-fashioned way.
But honestly? I can not take it.
Because even this nostalgia for a 'Pride & Prejudice' kind of love is just another performance.
Another curated lament for a version of love that probably never existed the way we tell it now.
Let’s be real. We haven’t just forgotten love. We’ve butchered it.
Sanitized it with aesthetics, diluted it with vibes and buried it under absurd buzzwords like situationships, soft launching, polycurious, and whatever else the algorithm is peddling today.
We don’t Love. We Sample. Swipe, Taste, Discard, Repeat.
We treat people like playlists, if one track bores us, we skip.
And then we post some half-weepy, half-thirsty caption
about healing, alignment, or 'my peace.'
We’ve made desire cheap and commitment obsolete.
We act like honesty is vulnerability, but we can’t even name our intentions without needing five disclaimers and a meme.
Love now? It’s posturing. Either you’re pretending not to care, or pretending so much that it becomes a performance.
There's no middle ground. No sacredness. No weight.
Just hollow labels wrapped in pretty syntax.
And I don’t agree with this idea that
'maybe I’m here to show people how to be loved.'
That’s a martyr complex wearing a pastel cardigan.
You’re not a lesson. You’re a person.
And love isn’t a classroom.
It’s not a training program for emotionally stunted adults
to learn how to choose someone.
If they didn’t choose you from the start,
they never deserved your blueprint.
What we’ve done is confuse pain with meaning, drama with depth, spark with compatibility.
And it’s exhausting.
The problem is we always chase an idea of romance. Not the act. Because we can't process when
Something that doesn’t flinch. Something that doesn’t need ten layers of irony to protect itself shows up at our doorsteps.
So no I don’t want to romanticize the ruins. I want to burn the script and write something real.
But for that to happen, we need to stop confusing chaos with passion and start asking the real question:
Are you ready to love when it’s no longer about you?
You are a wonderful writer and I wish more power to your pen. Pardon me for taking such an extreme perspective to your soft ideas.
Thank you for your comment! I agree, I also believe that we always chase the idea of romance, but not the mundane parts of it, hence why some relationships fail. However I do believe love is a classroom, there’s so many things we learn and grow from it and I find that really meaningful ❤️
TL;DR I really enjoyed your writing and I believe choose where our hearts go, whether it is to or from someone.
Honestly... in my experience... we choose the love we want to keep. Thats why we think about and talk to people years after meeting them and having them in our lives. Because they had that profound affect on us. I met my partner when I was in kindergarten and we had many ups and downs through our years. But we never let each other go.
Thank you!! I agree, I think we have to put in effort to maintain a relationship in order for it to work. Aw it’s so sweet how you and your partner stuck with each other through the years, it’s really rare to find that these days.
I resonate with this piece so much. I was cheated on and discarded by an avoidant 2 and a half months ago after trying to cultivate emotional intimacy, 2 years and 3 months gone just like that. He says he still loves me and I mean everything to him but he’s already in a new relationship because he’s chasing that “high” imo while I’m here picking up the pieces and trying to heal.
your reflections on love always feel like a mug of hot chocolate <3333
stop best compliment ever ily <3
I really love this and it is so true. We romantisce situationships butter flies yet that feeling will go away one dat that is beginning of really loving someone. Love this hannah thanks for writing this
I’m glad you liked it <33
this is so true and made me realize a lot of things. i hope that kind of love finds me someday🫶🏻
I’m sure it’ll come along at the right time❤️ thank you for reading!!
needed that. too often it’s love bombing and then everything fades away
Yess so true
I apologise but I might go on a rant here. Because with such a great articulated piece of work, I find myself not aligning with the idea itself. So please bear with me for a few paras:
I get what you’re trying to say.
It’s well-worded, sentimental, romantic in the old-fashioned way.
But honestly? I can not take it.
Because even this nostalgia for a 'Pride & Prejudice' kind of love is just another performance.
Another curated lament for a version of love that probably never existed the way we tell it now.
Let’s be real. We haven’t just forgotten love. We’ve butchered it.
Sanitized it with aesthetics, diluted it with vibes and buried it under absurd buzzwords like situationships, soft launching, polycurious, and whatever else the algorithm is peddling today.
We don’t Love. We Sample. Swipe, Taste, Discard, Repeat.
We treat people like playlists, if one track bores us, we skip.
And then we post some half-weepy, half-thirsty caption
about healing, alignment, or 'my peace.'
We’ve made desire cheap and commitment obsolete.
We act like honesty is vulnerability, but we can’t even name our intentions without needing five disclaimers and a meme.
Love now? It’s posturing. Either you’re pretending not to care, or pretending so much that it becomes a performance.
There's no middle ground. No sacredness. No weight.
Just hollow labels wrapped in pretty syntax.
And I don’t agree with this idea that
'maybe I’m here to show people how to be loved.'
That’s a martyr complex wearing a pastel cardigan.
You’re not a lesson. You’re a person.
And love isn’t a classroom.
It’s not a training program for emotionally stunted adults
to learn how to choose someone.
If they didn’t choose you from the start,
they never deserved your blueprint.
What we’ve done is confuse pain with meaning, drama with depth, spark with compatibility.
And it’s exhausting.
The problem is we always chase an idea of romance. Not the act. Because we can't process when
Something that doesn’t flinch. Something that doesn’t need ten layers of irony to protect itself shows up at our doorsteps.
So no I don’t want to romanticize the ruins. I want to burn the script and write something real.
But for that to happen, we need to stop confusing chaos with passion and start asking the real question:
Are you ready to love when it’s no longer about you?
You are a wonderful writer and I wish more power to your pen. Pardon me for taking such an extreme perspective to your soft ideas.
Thank you for your comment! I agree, I also believe that we always chase the idea of romance, but not the mundane parts of it, hence why some relationships fail. However I do believe love is a classroom, there’s so many things we learn and grow from it and I find that really meaningful ❤️
i loved this so so much, you described it beautifully and you’re so right 🤍🤍 thank u hannah
Aww thank you I’m glad you liked it ❤️
AMAZING WRITING STYLE TRUE EMOTIONS AND FULL OF FACTS PLS WRITE MORE MORE AND MORE ❤️
❤️❤️
I loved this!
Thank you xx
you get it!! loved this so much, hannah. i resonated with it and i’m sure a lot of others will too. let’s keep choosing softness 🤍
I’m glad you liked this <3
TL;DR I really enjoyed your writing and I believe choose where our hearts go, whether it is to or from someone.
Honestly... in my experience... we choose the love we want to keep. Thats why we think about and talk to people years after meeting them and having them in our lives. Because they had that profound affect on us. I met my partner when I was in kindergarten and we had many ups and downs through our years. But we never let each other go.
Thank you!! I agree, I think we have to put in effort to maintain a relationship in order for it to work. Aw it’s so sweet how you and your partner stuck with each other through the years, it’s really rare to find that these days.
I resonate with this piece so much. I was cheated on and discarded by an avoidant 2 and a half months ago after trying to cultivate emotional intimacy, 2 years and 3 months gone just like that. He says he still loves me and I mean everything to him but he’s already in a new relationship because he’s chasing that “high” imo while I’m here picking up the pieces and trying to heal.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, that’s awful! You deserve the best, sending you so so so much love 🫂
Thank you so much for your kindness, it’s so devastating and difficult but I’ll eventually be okay.🫂🤍